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Live it up, girls!

Last Saturday, when I was well into my weekly marathon yakking sessions with my mum back in Chennai, she gave me a piece of news that jolted me. One of the girls from my old school, a girl 7 years younger than myself, had just committed suicide.

I was like 'WHAT?' She also said a friend of hers killed herself the month before. What is happening to our youngsters? What prompts a 21-year-old, one who's on the threshold of her life, to just end it, when the whole life is out there, just waiting to be lived?

The girls in question were just making their mark as playback singers in the Tamil movie industry and I am sure, had their lives not been so rudely cut off, gone on to make it big. So what would prompt them to just give up on everything and take their own lives?

Is it a rash action of a moment? Is it a pre-meditated act? Or is it just a cry for help?

A few years back, I remember reading about the death of former beauty queen, model and VJ, Nafisa Joseph. I think her fiance jilted her and she killed herself or something. I remember thinking, if a worldly-wise woman, who must have seen a few things in her modelling career cannot hack it, what sort of message does that send to the younger ones. Now it is 20 and 21-year olds that are going down that route.

I hear words like 'love failure' too often these days. Maybe it is cynical of me, but I cannot help thinking 'so what?' Your own life should be worth more than the so-called love of the person who jilts you, shouldn't it? Who knows, one might be well off not being with such a person - a few tears now is better than a life sentence, surely.

At times like this, I think the Western concept of casual dating is a good one. You date a couple of guys (or girls) - hang out, go out to dinner, disco and if you aren't compatible, then break it off and get on with your lives. The desi concept of dating, wherein if you go out with a person, then they are 'it' might not be such a great thing, especially if the bloke turns out to be a cad.

The problem with this idea though, is the mentality of certain young men out there. If a girl has a couple of boyfriends, then she is considered 'loose', as in, morally (not mental!). I have seen loads of guys who 'road-test' by dating a few girls before settling down with a proper girl as chosen by their mums. Aren't they loose as well? But we all know it is predominantly a man's world out there, don't we? So what is the solution then?

I feel that dating shouldn't be a taboo concept any longer. I know times are a'changing and we see loads of couples hanging out in the metros these days but in Chennai, it isn't as prevalent as it maybe in other places. No more 'chup chup ke' stuff please. Going out with a girl / guy isn't exactly something to be ashamed of, is it?

More importantly, it isn't like the end of the world if you are jilted, thought it might feel so at that moment. Finally, here is my plea to the young 'uns out there - please love yourself a bit more than you love your 'beloved'. It just might save your life!

Can also be found at Desicritics

Posted by DesiGirl 9:00 am  


  1. Kaveetaa Kaul said...
    What a waste of life. It bothers me too when out of the blue news of the sort hits you. I had written of this on my blog a number of times.

    and here

    Please read when you have the time.

    It is imperative that our young vulnerable counterparts toughen up to this game called life.

    keep writing.
    Anonymous said...

    Please read this and see the different roles of a woman
    Anonymous said...
    I say briefly: Best! Useful information. Good job guys.
    Cassandra3383 said...
    I hear you loud and clear! I don't see why some people are being stupid when it comes to love! That's why I enjoy dating lots of men through webdate*com and I'm having the time of my life...the idea of a relationship right now are preety much next to nil.
    Anonymous said...
    Dear Desi Girl

    Good write up.

    can I suggest something to you

    Since you are an NRI, maybe you would understand and perceive better

    I came across a link,0008.htm

    And I would really like if you can write something on it . DC is read by thousands of wives in USA and other countries during their time home.

    Would you?
    Anonymous said...
    It is a request ofcourse and hope you would take it

    I do not have a blog and not a member of DC


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